What has happened to my composing! I feel a new push to do it – it’s mostly out of a sense of responsibility, although I don’t know exactly why that is.

Regarding motivation, I feel no connection, at this point, to any sort of main stream goals in the slightest such as money or recognition. I just don’t care. Or maybe I do but am burying my hopes. That’s not what it feels like though. I”m trying to put myself in the frame of mind that I am doing this for other people – which I don’t think I’ve ever done before in any sustained way.

My seed for Do Not Stand isn’t working, at least not yet. I keep ending upon the same chord. G! And what I cam up with this last attempt was absolutely no good.

I think this might be because I have no constraints on the piece (other than the text.) That leaves the palate barren – I need things to prevent me from doing the obvious all the time. After coming up with rather useless material when I had no constraints, I tried massive constraints by sticking to just fourths but that became really monotonous in a different way.

This is still light years better than how the Rumi / chant polyphony was going. There I had compositional energy but the piece was random chaos, which is not what I’m going for.

Maybe I’ll go old school and just assign myself time slots where I have to write. Let’s see if I can do that this week. I’m out of shape so I’ll start with something foolproof. Twenty minutes Mon-Friday. That will have to go up, a lot, but I’ll see what happens with this very unthreatening assignment. The time I put in so far today doesn’t count – so I’ll put in 20 minutes more. It’s just 20 minutes – harmless.